Allyship
Making Your Community Safer
As one person – whatever your age – you have a lot of power to influence the space around you. Learn practical ways to intervene when you witness harm.
The Power of Bystanders
As one person – whatever your age – you have a lot of power to influence the space around you. Both for better and for worse.
Every time you witness someone saying or doing something that is harmful, you are faced with a choice: to ignore it or to do something.
When We Ignore It
When we ignore something or let it slide, we are actually participating. We are communicating that that behaviour is ok and that we support it. No feedback is implicit encouragement that a behaviour can be continued without consequence.
When We Intervene
When we intervene, we don't only make the space safer for a person who might be on the receiving end of the toxic behaviour, we also chip away at the culture of harassment and harm and replace it with one of caring for others.
Sometimes there is no one on the receiving end, but someone is talking about something they did or makes an offensive or harmful joke. When we speak up, we communicate that this is not okay. Every time we set these boundaries, we help others recognize what is and is not acceptable in the communities we live in.
Safety First
Always check in with yourself and the situation about whether you can safely intervene.
- If not safe to intervene directly, get outside help when you can.
- If that is not an option, check in with the victim afterward to show your support.
- You can also tell an authority figure about what happened.
Remember: Your safety matters too. If the situation seems dangerous, call 911 or find help.
The 5 Ds of Bystander Intervention
The 5Ds are different methods – Distract, Delegate, Document, Delay, and Direct – that you can use to support someone who's being harassed, emphasize that harassment is not okay, and demonstrate to people in your life that they have the power to make their community safer.
Distract
Distraction is a powerful tool to derail toxic behaviour and get someone out of an unsafe situation. The key is to ignore the perpetrator and engage directly with the person who is on the receiving end of the harassment.
How to do it: Don't talk about the situation. Instead talk about something completely unrelated. This will give them a safe reason to exit the situation and leave with you.
Example: Pretend to know the person being harassed: 'Hey! I've been looking for you! Can you help me find the bus stop?'
Delegate
Delegation is asking a third party for help with intervening. This offers an opportunity to have strength and safety in numbers.
How to do it: You can delegate to an adult or someone who has authority, such as a teacher, store manager, or transit employee. You can also delegate to a friend or even a stranger who is standing next to you.
Example: Ask a security guard, bartender, or another person to help intervene.
Document
Documentation is about recording an instance of harassment or other harmful behaviour. The goal is to record it so the person experiencing the harmful behaviour can use it as proof as required.
How to do it: Video or write down details, but only if someone else is helping the person. Don't post it online without the person's express permission – posting another's traumatic experience is not always helpful and can actually create more harm.
Example: Record from a safe distance while ensuring someone else is actively helping.
Delay
We can't always act in the moment, but we can still make a difference for someone who has experienced harm. Check in with them after the fact about whether they are ok and if there is anything they need.
How to do it: This helps them know that they are not alone and can be key to validate the experience for them.
Example: Follow up: 'I saw what happened. Are you okay? Can I help with anything?'
Direct
Sometimes, we may want to respond directly to toxic behaviour by naming the inappropriate behavior and confronting the person doing harm.
How to do it: Use this one with caution, because Direct intervention can be risky – the person harassing may redirect their abuse towards the intervening bystander, or may escalate the situation. If you know the person doing the harassing, it is a good way to role model healthy behaviours.
Example: Keep it short and direct: 'That's not okay' or 'Leave them alone.' If they try to argue, simply shut down any debate on the topic.
Where did the 5Ds come from?
Right to Be and Green Dot partnered together to develop tools to help people intervene when they saw harassment happen.
Learn more at Right to BeBe Ready to Act
The more you practice thinking through scenarios, the more prepared you'll be when a real situation arises. Every intervention matters.