Consent
What Consent Means
Consent is the foundation of respectful interactions. Understanding what consent really means helps us build healthier relationships and safer communities.
Understanding Consent
At its core, consent means giving permission for something to happen or agreeing to do something. In the context of relationships and physical intimacy, consent must be clear, informed, and freely given.
Consent applies to all kinds of interactions—from physical touch to sharing personal information. It's about respecting each other's autonomy and making sure everyone feels safe and comfortable.
1 in 10
teens experience dating violence
43%
of dating violence victims are 15-24
Higher Risk
for 2SLGBTQIA+ youth
The FRIES Model of Consent
An easy way to remember what consent looks like. True consent must be:
Freely Given
Without pressure, manipulation, or influence of substances
Reversible
Anyone can change their mind at any time
Informed
Everyone understands what they're agreeing to
Enthusiastic
A genuine 'yes,' not just absence of 'no'
Specific
Saying yes to one thing doesn't mean yes to everything
Consent IS...
- Freely given without pressure or manipulation
- Reversible—anyone can change their mind at any time
- Informed—everyone understands what they're agreeing to
- Enthusiastic—a genuine 'yes,' not just absence of 'no'
- Specific—saying yes to one thing doesn't mean yes to everything
- Ongoing—must be given each time, in each situation
Consent is NOT...
- Silence or lack of resistance
- Given under influence of alcohol or drugs
- Coerced through pressure, threats, or guilt
- Assumed based on past consent or relationship status
- Implied by clothing, flirting, or location
- Valid if the person is asleep or unconscious
How to Ask for Consent
Asking for consent doesn't have to be awkward. Here are some simple ways to check in:
"Is this okay?"
"Do you want to...?"
"Are you comfortable with this?"
"Would you like me to...?"
"How are you feeling?"
"Tell me if you want to stop."
Remember: Pay attention to body language too. If words and body language don't match, check in again.
Key Principles of Consent
Consent Can Be Withdrawn
Anyone can change their mind at any time, for any reason. If someone withdraws consent, the activity must stop immediately. This is true even if consent was given earlier.
Consent Requires Communication
Don't assume—ask. Clear communication is essential. If you're unsure whether someone has consented, the safest approach is to ask directly and wait for a clear answer.
Consent is About Respect
At its heart, consent is about respecting other people's autonomy and right to make decisions about their own bodies and lives. It's a fundamental part of treating people with dignity.
Scenario Check: Is This Consent?
Practice recognizing consent with these scenarios:
"Your partner is tired and says 'maybe later'"
Maybe is not yes. Check in again later when they're not tired.
"Someone enthusiastically says 'yes!' with clear body language"
This is clear, enthusiastic consent.
"Your date has had several drinks and seems confused"
Someone who is intoxicated cannot give informed consent.
"You asked, they thought about it, and said 'I'd like that'"
Taking time to think is fine—what matters is the clear affirmative response.
"They said yes last time, so it should be fine now"
Past consent doesn't equal current consent. Always ask.
Let's empower everyone with the right to say No, to listen to their own bodies, and to respect others when they say No.
Continue Learning
Understanding consent is just the beginning. Explore how to teach consent to children and practice it in everyday life.